do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
