Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
