Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
