just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
