sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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