I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
