if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
