No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
