If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
