The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
