so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
