hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
