he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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