stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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