i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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