Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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