I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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