put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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