Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my sisters under your porch take her home
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize