Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
