hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
