So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
