butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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