No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
