apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
