we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
