When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
