Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
