You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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