tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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