does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it was like eating out sand paper
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
