Your tits are I can't wait for
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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