I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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