Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize