his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
