If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
