remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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