shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
