so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
