yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Randomize