Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
