So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
