dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
