If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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