i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
