so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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