Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
