Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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