I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I will be naked everywhere
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Randomize
