Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My liver just had a heart attack.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize