I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
