Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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