Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?

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(678): View more from Georgia

That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.

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(804): View more from Virginia

Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.

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(626): View more from California

All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.

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(614): View more from Ohio

I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have

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(406): View more from Montana

Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.

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(518): View more from New York

Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.

(1-518): View more from New York

Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.

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