just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
