it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
