I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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