Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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